Our country is observing some major changes. When the road of life changes dramatically, this by definition causes stress, a “response of the body to any demand for change” (Selye, 1936). So the big question is: In the face of all the change we are seeing, what is the essential skill we need to be as effective as we can in our lives?
Lazarus and Folkman (1984) defined stress as: “A particular relationship between the person and the environment that is appraised by the person as taxing or exceeding his or her resources and endangering his or her well being”. This definition certainly hits the mark for many right now. Concerns about the ramifications of change, beliefs about the fairness of these changes, and even a sense of threat can all create a psycho-biological stress response.
While there are indeed many stressors occurring, the stress response is our own, and so, it is up to each of us to hunker down and use our skills to take care of ourselves as effectively as possible.
The psychological and biological reactions to fear and anger are hardwired in the oldest parts of our brains and bodies. Psychological rigidity is when we fail to adapt in a fluid way to the current context. Our responses to things become largely reactive and autopilot. In fact, researchers have linked increased stress to just about any unhealthy autopilot behaviors, including increased alcohol and/or drugs, caffeine, sugar and carbohydrates.
These behaviors work to reduce the discomfort of our emotions and thoughts about the stressor short term. But each escape behavior adds a layer of junk to the mix of psychological rigidity. Sleep amount and quality can begin to deteriorate. Our memory falters as increased stress hormone cortisol suppresses nerve growth in the working memory area of the brain. This leads to increased inflammation, which in turn has been linked to numerous physical and psychological ailments, including major depression.
Ultimately, we enter a rigid cycle of Stressor-Emotion-Thought-Action-Repeat. Our ability to attend to the present moment, without the embellishments of our minds interpretations/assumptions, is reduced. We fail to gain new information about our changing world because new learning is hindered. We ultimately become stuck in our own ways and increasingly psychologically rigid.
While psychological rigidity has been linked to a number of mental health diagnoses, psychological flexibility may be the shining star of resilience and well-being. It is a super skill! It has been shown to be a key ingredient in mental health and behavioral effectiveness. Psychological flexibility, which is a cornerstone of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), is defined as the ability to “make contact with experience in the present moment fully and without defense”.
How to practice psychological flexibility:
A helpful exercise could be incorporating a daily mindfulness practice by logging your experiences to certain situations. For instance, write down the Facts/Situation and then your Thoughts, Emotions, Bodily Sensations, and Action/Impulse that precipitate. This is a great way to begin building greater self-awareness, especially awareness of your habits and repetitive thoughts and emotions.
Attend to your emotions in a new, kinder way. You can do this by first identifying and labeling the emotions you are feeling. Then simply acknowledge and validate those emotions. A helpful image can be viewing your emotions as passengers in the back seat of a car. Like a loving parent, give your passengers attention before they have to scream to get it. Speak to them in a warm and kind way to simply acknowledge and validate their pain. Practicing moving into, rather than away from difficult internal experience builds the skill of listening to your emotions and the messages they are conveying.
Practice noticing and accepting your thoughts; seeing them as thoughts, not facts. Ruminating on old thought habits might have a certain allure, but it can lead to unnecessary suffering.
Committing ourselves to be skillful in the face of change does not mean you should stuff, blunt, or get rid of your feelings. Being skillful is simply choosing the most effective action from a place of wisdom.